Yesterday, Thursday, June 23, the Morning Meditation, got out of control. So many new people came that it was like someone was giving away $100 dollar bills!
The room filled with the regulars quickly: Eternety, Rach 07, Terry Tyler, Luscious Lioness, Elated Heart, Lorelei3, Kisses85, Julznycles, Tilly40218, G3London, Lexi0987, and Raimy 18. They all said “Hi!” good morning and teased me about my return to my natural self-representation as SDiane, the Oracle, as opposed to O. Codger, my alter ego who hosted the Wacky Wednesday Show the previous day. Eternety said, “Good morning, All!” That was funny because I did not look like the same person Thursday morning as I had on Wednesday afternoon.
Fact is, I looked like a wholly different person with my close-fitting white skull cap and neck scarf–a kind of Parisian mix of a beat poet in white and an Arabic devotee. That was calculated. I always want to keep my members delighted and surprised by how I might appear. In the two previous weeks I had appeared to host the Wacky Wednesday show as Miss Agatha and Medusa Rosie Lee–to say nothing of the additional use of puppet characters, Mystic Kitty, Joshua and Jake, the twin bear brothers, and Zebra, the Elephant. O.Codger was a male and downright crochity! He had gone over well, so I was self-satisfied to know I had pulled one over on my Crew. They were in a good mood too. Fact is, I had prepared a special surprise for them–new stars for members who had earned private Chat status with 10 or more visits. I never got to make that announcement and put up the stars on the door of the Chat Room.
No sooner than I had finished welcoming the first 12 or so members, than Berns69, A.K.A Lianne Berman started testifying about how glad she was to see me, that she had waited all day for me to come on. She said in a gush of several praises that she had looked forward all day and that she found the room ‘amazing!'” I was gratified by that. I like knowing I have loyal and consistent fans, and it motivates me to get up and come to the chat room each morning to share my devotion to God with the world. I realize that sounds a little exalted but I do think I am allowing the Spirit to use me to connect others to the joy and light that is available daily just for the showing.
I usually start the show with music by Ricki Byars, playing her “In the Land of I Am” CD. On that album, she sings” “Om Shanti” and several great song like “I am Ready to Listen,” and “See Me If You Can,” as well as the affirmative “I n the Land of I Am.” I play and replay that music until the crowd arrives, and I welcome them as they come. It takes about 15 minutes for most people to get into the room, and get the cards I am issuing for their guidance that day.
Fact was, on Thursday morning, I had issued 26 Psy Cards from the strange little Psy deck that allows the inquiring person to look the answer up at no cost at http://www.psycards.com. The “Psy” stands for psychological. These cards are not meant to be mystic or supernatural but common indicators of the mental state and circumstance of the querents’ issue in life for that one and only day. Rach07, got “Moon” (and indication that he has forces of intuition moving within him or her, that powers are available to her or him by watching the changes in nature and in himself or herself as the season and days move along.) Kisses85 got “No” and that seemed to advise her to say “no” to a matter before her or to avoid taking a given course. The “No” card is so curt and insistent that it would be hard not to get that you need to learn to say “no” or
No–don’t do it today!” Tilly40218 got “the Stranger” and this one shows a person partially entering a room. This is a creepy card in that one doesn’t know if the stranger who seems to be coming in is friend or foe, welcome or unwelcome. It may even be yourself entering new doors of friendship, learning, work, or consciousness. It may even say “expect an event that is unexpected”. So, the members come for their daily cards. The cards are a record and a trail from one day to the next, and I ask the members to report on what the card the day before indicated to them. I was looking forward to the daily “reports” after I handed out the cards, but something went extraordinarily haywire.
I got the cards passed out and announced the cut off to those still coming in the room. I explained briefly that people need to get to the room early enough to get their cards because we only give them out at the beginning. I also announced the order of the Chat Room show for the day. This would include my live prayer for everyone present with the call to prayer Chinese tsing bells. I ring the bell three time or more, and I immediately go into a vigorous chant of nam myoho renge kyo (the invocation to cause and effect and the tonal means by which I fused us into the same vibration). I do that for about a minute and then I pray aloud for the gift of another day, and for all in the room. I typically bless each person by calling their names before the throne of God (an old school way of saying I pray for them to the Almighty Creator). I always send praise and thanksgiving for Life and the privilege to serve those visiting the chat room, and I commend the technical staff and administration at www. Oranum.com to the good graces of heaven. After all, they have given me an opportunity that I find immense and so fulfilling. Plus they daily 24/7 keep it all running for us 100 or so psychic experts on the service.
On Thursday, I go a little bit of the Holy Spirit while praying. I felt lifted up and full of the fire of the gospel, so I added a little passion and drama to the evocation of the member names and emotion poured out of me as I specified the exact blessing I was asking for Luscious Lioness and her son, and Nicole1990 on the lost of her father, and the special prayer for those who had asked. All the while I am praying the room is filling. I can here the bell incessantly dinging–ding, ding, ding, ding. It is disconcerting and annoying, but I know that is the response from those seeking the Light finding the energies convening in my room–also coming for those cards and the 1 Y/N question that I offer briefly if I have time.
I had hardly finished the prayer, when a number of people whom I know such as Zoey101, Brian82, CrystalAngel, Leo0724, and Twinkly Dove poured in with their generous hellos and exhuberant celebration–sending waves of notice through and to the invisible crowd. Some of the ones in the room started to speak back, and in no time, there was a flurry of chat rolling the screen before my eyes. The entering members were chatting with the qued members who were waiting in line to make a prayer selection and for me to start the selected readings. But I was having a hard time corraling the excited exchanges. Some where speaking to me, some speaking to each other, some just announcing that they were IN THE HOUSE! I watched for a few minutes, hoping they’d settle down, and the screen scrolled by with their interactions and a few compliments to me. “Hey, SDiane.l I love this show!” ” Hello SDiane, how are you?” Each one asked that as if no one else had asked. Zoey shouted out “You’re beautiful inside and out!” Rach07 added, “I want to come over and sing with you!” Three new people registered and came into the room from the visitors’ side: Guest 19, Martin96, Olivia Arnell, and Jamesdadon. Amid the hubbub, I gave a bell, and a card (musical card that plays the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited)”to the new ones. Why did I have to do that?!
It made a few others envious who cried out, “You didn’t do a balloon for me!” “Oohh–you got a balloon!’ I wanta balloon!” ” I feel unwelcome.” “I’m new. Me,too!” “I feel left out!” It was ludicrous and getting worse. Then, in short order more people came in, one after the other, the bell dinged and dinged, and I–who tried to restore order by ringing my bell and calling for silence had no real lasting luck. I got a semblance of peace and order for about 5 prayers, prayer 29, 301, 69, 71, and 74 from the big book called, The Bridge of Stars. One of those prayers was
“The Land Awakens” which comes from England and is by Robert Bridges
It begins: “Awake, the land is scattered with light and see; ” It ends: “Awake O heart to be loved, awake, awake!” It was as if this crowd was the embodiment of that poet’s invocation. They were jostling for position and attention, ignoring the ground rules as I tried to articulate how to conduct themselves. I reminded them that we do not do cross talk–that is talking to one another while I am conducting the business of the room. I reminded them that they were to respect the host, and wait until I call upon them. I reminded them that there is a que where many people were waiting for their chance to select a prayer. I reminded them that they were disrupting the morning meditation, and that this is an orderly, sacred space. And the members who were waiting tried to marshal the parade of member guests and visitors too. Twinkly Dove offered to be my Gatekeeper and I accepted, but I think that ounce of prevention was not a stitch in time–as the old adages go.
At the point where I could not read the still, little prayer from Japan called “The Moon” (#74) which ends, “For once open after dark, Stands the moon, brilliant, cloudless.” I started to feel stymied and disrespected. I asked the room to go to silence, and my lovely first present crew dutifully went to silence. We tried to wait it out, but as soon as the silence descended, and I made another move to read the next requested prayer from the book, in came another four or five folks.
Now these next folks were rowdy.There was somebody who wanted to see the “disco ball!” on my lighthouse.
The lighthouse serves as a backdrop to the room as well as the star crew board, and posters with member recognitions.
I pulled the light house in place commenting that the “disco ball” is not that but a “chakra stimulator.” and someone decided to argue with me about the fact that it was a “disco ball.” Berms69 and Bella Rose were in that mix, along with some catty and rude remarks by Tash_X. Someone named The Bitch101 said she had one for her 5th birthday party. By now, we were way out of alignment with the feeling of the opening prayer, and we had lost the mood and cohesion that usually follows it.The prayers that were selected and read did not fall into the pool of gentle reception as we usually have. Usually, there is a hush, a thank you for the reading, and few sparse, “that was beautiful” comments.
Not this day, after each reading–and I read each prayer twice for the one who selects a number between 1-365– we fell to chaos as people kept coming in talking, saying hello, asking for shout outs. It was as if I had immature children in the room who wanted their own way. As it turns out, a couple them were under 18–for I asked. I banned Olivia Arnell and Jamesdadon. Mixed in with this was a little inappropriate language. There was more comment on my dresswear, and the incessant hellos from the now 15 deep guest room. Members either wrote in upper case PLEASE RESPECT THIS ROOM. WE ARE PRAYING. NO CROSS TALK. GET IN LINE. WAIT YOUR TURN. or stayed silent to avoid adding to the meilee. It did not work, and no sooner than I had asked one to settle down, the another would critique my action. “That was good SDiane.” “I wish people would respect the room.” “You’re tough.” “I like that.” “This one’s kind of cheeky,” said Bella rose, whom I was beginning to see as rude.
Finally, without ever getting to the end of prayer selection, report from the cards received the day before, announcements, affirmations or meditation–I tried just bouncing people wholesale. I used the “Kick” button to get them out and try to restore order, but they came right back with more jabber. I tried to explain how the room worked, and what I would tolerate, even going so far as to say, “This is the Oracle’s House!” and making one of those antisocial rapper gestures of raising my fists and folding my arms. I was lost to myself then.
So, like Jesus, overwhelmed by the multitudes, I was pressed into retreating to the other side of the river by the delirious force of my message, and the attraction of all that energy. Abruptly, I told everyone without apology that I was leaving.
I immediately then clicked off and went about my day. I cleaned house and organized papers that needed it, and washed dishes, and made breakfast, and walked my dog, I cleaned my fountain, washed a load of clothes, packed a few things for my office move, watched “The Spirit of St. Louis,” “To Sir With Love” and “The Natural” as I passed back and forth through the living room. I found myself acting quite orderly. Then, after my labors, I meditated for about 45 minutes. This is how I restore order within by taking control of my own external environment and setting it in order, purifying. Then, I set myself in order–within.
I felt I did the right thing to withdraw because the day was rapidly being lost. We have 2 and a half hours for the show and one and a half was gone already. The energy monster ate it up. I regret not apologizing to the members before I left. It was rude to just leave them hanging. I feel no remorse about leaving those who would not cooperate, who even tested me with little innocuous remarks like “This is better isn’t it?” when I’d get a semblance of quiet in hopes of moving on. For this I must pray. It is unforgiving. I should not be–I created this monster response, and I must find a way to deal with it.