“Bitter-Sweet” Journal Entry for week of June 20-25 2011

One prayer is called “The Bitter and the Sweet” That’s What I Feel About This Week’s Chat and My Work

This is the Oracle coming at you again, saying thank you for your continued visits to my chat room.

This week June 20 through June 25, has been a riot. Lots of old members have come back. Some new ones have made a real impression. And those who are constant support remained faithful. In appreciation for that on-going interest, I made a video on the www. Oranum.com  site that thanks specific “crew” members personally and publicaly.  If you’d like to see it, better do so before Sunday, June 26. After that time, I will start to run a new video promotion for the change in my scheduling.  Which will go to 7:30 AM and 7:30 PM  July 1 Pacific Standard Time. I keep the programming going twice a day because I enjoy the change and energy so much, and because I want to have access to new members. The Chat Room can become stagnant when the same people come again and again, and they have already had one or more private chats. At $3.99 a minute, I don’t suspect any member new or old will want to be chatting me up every few days. Besides, I like  the comfort of familiar names and developing lines of communication and thought from day to day. And the talk is never stagnant, just my access to private chat.

Some people like Eternety, Cyber Typer, Nicole1990, AllisPositive, Elated Heart and G3 London communicate with me through Face Book, and I get a little closer and know more about them there. I feel comforted by their willingness to be cyber friends. The thing about cyber space is it pares down the usual static of face to face words and actions. You just have the naked word and inference in those words. You can augment them with anonyms and abbreviations, you can accentuate them with little forced uses of the keyboard symbols, and you can use parentheticals , but the stripped version of communication makes language carry meaning and emotion that may not be true. Identity can be created, hidden, or revealed. What I find so disconcerting is that the people are often very different from their voices. When I see tall Nicole on Facebook, or sultry Luscious there, their bodies are not the same voices. They are embodiments with color and hair, attitude and disposition that is out of phase with the revelations of those voices on so many topics.  I feel like I am talking to Spirit pure and clear in the chat, but seeing images makes them fill out physically , and prejudice or conceptions step in. Chat Room Commentary is not communication, yet it passes for a definition of a person. Take Cyber Typer for example, she laughs a lot and is witty. She’s quick to see the jest in a cyber moment. Like the time we were talking about my purchasing balloons, and she made a witticism about the Walmart manager’s impressions of the lady with the bag full of balloons. This makes her a warm person to me, a loveable fun lady. I see her as  this blithe Mary Tyler Moor teen, but she looks like a senior Barbara Streisand in black horned rim geek glasses. She is an undernourished beauty who cares for doggies who need fostering until they get a home. She also works hard at keeping balls in the air. A new psychic for Oranum–I coached her some and recommended her–she flatters me by referring to her new following as a “crew.” She uses telepathic exercises as I have done, and she likes being on when I am. This tells me she is thinking, planning, maximizing her potential, following my lead and using what she can from her mentor. But I do not flatter myself that she needs me to succeed. She will succeed because she sees me.  She has discernment and aptitude and can apply the lessons of observation to her own situation. And she calls me her “cyber mom”. I am not. I am a phenom with ideas that awaken others. She was already awake. I just told her to get dressed. She is bigger than her voice and infinitely more complex. The dialogue in the chat rooms really is a localized phenomena, and it makes depth where their may be none. This comes across with Gex Reza, Julznycles, and even Seraph_777, but it is only an impression. The first two show some fancy thinking and powers of mind, but never reveal themselves. The third, complains a lot, and seems to feel victimized and powerless when the user name alone speaks volumes about the quality of soul she wants to be. The name Seraph-777 may be an overestimation; it may be an incentive, a calling.  Unlike Nicole 1990 who wants her life to be known, or Luscious whom we have followed through her studies and her challenges with her autistic son–and more recently a lost job. These two appear more authentic because they have defining troubles or identifiable human markers beyond their user names. I say this not to criticize them but to point up the contrast between their user name and their actions, their cumulative impression over the weeks and days. Nicole 1990 does not suggest much about the person except she is ten years behind the times–why? Did something significant happen? Or is this just her house number and her real first name? It could be any thing. But it doesn’t define her. Her story does. But is that her? Luscious Lioness is a seductive name meant to convey strength and sensual acumen suited for the one who can appreciate the sensuality of the name. But the woman is not this avatar of leonine stealth. She is a mother and manager, a striver and a fighter in a corporate jungle. At least that is the story I draw from her sharing. Is this the truth any more than the name? Who knows? But the chat room intrigues me. The names and the sharing, the bonding I see happening. Across time and space, across the reaches of cyber technology, we are all forming what I call in the morning prayers, a critical mass of light. Yes, we are ready for 2012.

There has been a person who has been bugging me about my failure to recognize her or him or be engaged in conversation with her or him or others in my room. That person hides under the guise of a visitor and changes her or his number so that he or she is hard to catch. They slide into the room with several visiting guests and heckle me or insult me. The gist of the unforgiving narrative is that I have run or driven a number of people away because I spoke to others and not them.  This “critic” says I ignored so many in favor of one member in particular, Raimy 18. It seems to this member who apparently was a witness in the room on many occasions said that I deferred to her while others stood and watched or waited and were never addressed. This person says I played favorites and lost lots of opportunities for income via Private Chat because a substantial number of old members–some men–were turned off and went and did business with other experts on the line. This was the main thrust of the barbs–aside from racial aspersions and the tired old “b” word and a few choice vagina slurs. Like the endless stream of people who seem to know the rules of commerce, but want something for nothing, this person’s line of attack just got old with me.

Until today, I spent several weeks just banning the ghost of the person–anybody in the “Visitors'” chat was thrown out when that person was hiding out under an assumed number,because I couldn’t tell who he or she was . So, I dumped everyone in the visitors’ room  mercilessly. It was all the ammunition I had. Oranum seems powerless against dark and unsavory computer trolls who patrol the rooms and yell out obscenities, call the experts “fakes” and make insinuating remarks about the cost of a session. They have made some technical remedies with the “kick” button and the “ban” button but the people can always come back under a new desguise or freely return the next day. It’s wearing.The bitter critic comes daily ,and I ignore and ban her or him. Until last week–I lost my cool and told that person to get out and stay out. I had been called too many N words and B words and sneered at. But that fool came back today and said, ” I made you yell last week. I’m gonna make you cry this week.” Oh hell no! Those were fighting words.

So I took my time–in the middle of receiving guests for the extended “Morning Meditation” to clarify a few things. First of all, I am one person, and I have had and do have from 65-80 people pass through or hang in my room at one time. I cannot make conversation with them all in depth. Second, I started back in March and Raimy18 was one of the first people who began to stand out in the crowd and encourage me. She also did a series of private chats for which I was very grateful to get my bearings and to show my worth to my employers–such as they are. I always welcomed her and everyone who came. I make it my business to call people by name and try to type it, too. But the guest has to be forthcoming,–that is initiate conversation, otherwise I move along. Early on I was taking one at a time on Monday and Wednesdays for readings and using that time as a way to get to know people individually. It took four to six hours to do that work, and I lost lots of people in the long waits. Well, those waits continue. But I reorganized the format to enable me to direct traffic rather than be the place where everyone is trying to park. I told the heckler that I do not care if I have lost people. I can’t miss what I never really had. Everyone is free to go to any expert on the service. For as many as I have lost, I have gained another heaving crowd. I am not crying over spilled milk; to tell the truth, I do not know who is lost–since so many come back from time to time. These were the early visitors–people like Pepestone, Sinisha, Cynsupernova, Mobster01, 00RussleGee00″ “Saliormoon” and “Starzmoons.” I get to know those who let me get to know them. I said, “you are trying to make me feel bad because you think I care. I don’t care. I don’t have time to worry over people who are not here and money I did not make. I am living in the moment. I take care of these people, and there is no one who comes in my room to whom I do not speak. So if you feel I overlooked you, I am sorry. Come on back and let me include you. Join us. Forgive me. But stop all this finger pointing. It’s wasting your energy and doing nothing to hurt me or fix things. Just go away. I am fine. The room goes on.”

Really and truly, how I offset the annoyance of a spoiler, are the daily expressions of love and gratitude that the regular members of the chat room express. It balances out more than adequately to know that people like Elated Heart have grown so much and come out of such a despair that she actually changed her name from Jaded Heart. Several  people have sent me special e-mails and private chats to show their appreciation: Eternety, Spain 246,and sexyegyptian, Alexsheart, KMK777, coconut, dcnair and cowboicassanova. That I would call significant. Also, since I have begun doing the “Affirmation Tatwaa Cards” with the willing members and I have coupled tat activity (which takes 30 minutes) with meditations, Members report extraordinary experiences of calmness, insight, connectedness, lightness of being, and enlightenment. They tell of meeting guides, seeing colors, and receiving instructions from their guides or even deceased relatives. You should have been in the room with Luscious Lioness who has just returned from a long absence to discover our trance journey Monday afternoon. She was equally surprised to meet the puppets and my alter ego-O. Codger today during Wacky Wednesday.

It is gratifying to have so many people respond to the work I do daily in the diverse shows I put together.

To begin, the morning meditation keeps growing. It has become a serious place of worship. The members are ready for prayer and their cards each day. It works on a 2 1/2 hour time table, even though I schedule for two hours. I arrive at 9:30 AM PST and the members continue to show up promptly. They know I will answer Yes/No questions in short order if they show up early enough. I decided to add this feature back to my work because the “Private Chats” have become less frequent, and I am not encouraging new business or revealing my abilities to new visitors because they are distracted by the programming. That is the trade off for avoiding boredom. I never wanted to sit in my chat room waiting for miscellaneous guests twiddling my thumbs. I would feel a terrifically unnecessary. So I determined early to  engage the people in varying activities from simple card readings to instruction and music with welcome and rewards. I have engaged everyone new so well, that they do not think of asking or seeking private chats. (As an aside, I must say, I do feel that some have gotten too comfortable with accepting all the various services and offerings that I make. Many go on and on  enjoying daily, but make no effort to support my work by subscribing to credits and inviting me to private chat, an email, or a professional counseling session). I keep telling myself not to worry about it,; God sees what you’re doing and will get you what you need.  I know the law of giving ad receiving works. Besides, I would have to be in the Chat Room either way–busy or not–and hope for the one or two private chats per hour that I desire. I do not think that it matters that I give so much. I want to. I have the energy. Otherwise, I am stymied by the lack of outlets for all of my talents and gifts. This opportunity at Oranum was a God send, and I am delighted and eager to get up each day and come to this audience of people to share what I know and what I can do. And that is a considerable amount–to say nothing of being a seer who can heal. And a psychic who can teach. Did I tell you about the results of the meditations, affirmations, trance journeys, and prayers? No? Okay maybe next time.

Still, because the company advertises “Free Chat” and since it is a “psychic” network, many visitors come hoping to get a “free” or complimentary reading or conversation about their lives or concerns. This makes it hard on us experts because we are asked to just pique their interests,but not to read full out. That is a delicate balance to strike. I do not know how, but I am learning. These days I am doing timed, quick Y/N questions at the top of the shows. That way I can meet those expectations, ‘show a little skin” as the metaphor goes, and develop the clientele I need for another round of private chats. What many guests and members don’t understand is that we experts do not get paid for what we do in the “Free Chat” area. No matter how much time we spend or how little, we make no money. The money is when the good member actually buys credits between $19.99 and $99.99 to pay for the minutes the advisor requests for service. I have been averaging about $300 per pay period. That is not too good if you divide the hours into the sum,and multiple that by 15 days. But, it is an extra income, and at this time, I just stay as faithful as I can to my 5 hour per day schedule. I have been doing 35 hour weeks, and writing the blog, and sending the members letters to encourage their continued support. It may be working, but what is working is these reports.

It appears the members and various guest like what I am writing, and I have almost 7000 hits at this blog since I started it. That is remarkable. So, I have decided to make the journal serve both the Chat Room Report and the narrative of my experiences with the Members, Oranum, and the creations I think up to keep the Chat Room Fun and evolving.

I will describe the shows and their purposes in another entry another day.

Shout out to new members: Bollywoodstar34, Fishoutofwater, Tilly40218,gabrijelak, brambleweed,Kvalles, Zodiacancer, DeeLynn ,Acqsaa, Howland, Valentino1982,lalabrooke123, Moona40, Anaikam, Search4me,Barojessica1956, shelldom.Starlite4X, sillthaqueen, 530 Kitty, Renuka 1, caitlinlove509,Lilsister,Augustus11,TwinklyDove.

Mourners Bench: This week three members lost loved ones to death. We all hold those members in our prayers.

I gave out the Silent unity International number for prayer. 1 800 669 7729

Nicole1990  Chillean and a new member who came and left. Sorry, I missed the name.

WElCOME BACK: Cowboicasanova,  Pepestone,  Menshreiki, Luscious Lioness, Cynsupernova, Sailor Moon, The Genetic, Pinkyc, Golden Age, Melodic Blues, CarlyJ33, and Dianagirl.

Missing in Action: Raimy 18, Dialogue Diva, Loveable, dcNair, g3London, Gatekeeper Antje, Zina0204, Huskylove, Jessie Honey, Indigolight, sassie, Brianna2436, Remzo, amber7773,Nurse999,Kaz1964, Lerret, Lucmix, and Rachelle,

Worthy of  Praise: Terry Tyler, Yollandy, Tarot bella, Spain246, Alexsheart, Julznycles,Elidak, Seraph_777, Tipp18, Moneypenny,Fishoutofwater,Missy3, Randi69.For their achievements during the three rounds of Telepathic Tuesday Psi Tests.